Finding love online is more common than ever. Dating apps, social media, and even “wrong number” texts have become popular ways to meet new people. But while technology has made it easier to connect, it’s also made it easier for scammers to take advantage of kind and trusting people.

At Peoples Bank & Trust, we’re committed to helping our community stay safe, not just financially, but emotionally. In this installment of our security education series, we’ll walk through how romance scams work, who they target, and how you can protect yourself and your loved ones.

What Is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam is a type of fraud where a criminal creates a fake identity to build a romantic relationship with someone online. Their goal? To gain trust, manipulate emotions, and ultimately steal money or personal information.

These scams often begin innocently. You might receive a message from someone who seems charming, attentive, and genuinely interested in you. Over time, they share stories about their life, express deep feelings, and talk about a future together. But there’s always a catch — they need money.

Common requests include:

  • Paying for travel so they can visit you
  • Covering emergency medical bills
  • Helping with visa or legal fees
  • “Investing” in a business or cryptocurrency scheme

Once the scammer receives money, they often disappear, or worse, come back asking for more.

Who Do Romance Scammers Target?

Romance scams don’t discriminate. They affect people of all ages, backgrounds, and income levels. However, certain groups are more frequently targeted:

1. Older Adults

Scammers often target seniors who are widowed, divorced, or living alone. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), older Americans lost nearly $240 million to romance scams in 2022 alone.

2. Women Over 40

Many scammers pose as successful professionals, such as military members, doctors, or business owners working abroad, to gain trust and create a sense of romantic security before asking for money.

3. Men Seeking Companionship

Men are often targeted by scammers pretending to be younger women. These scams often involve flattery, romantic promises, and requests for financial help with education, travel, or business ventures. They sometimes involve sextortion, where the scammer threatens to share explicit photos unless they are paid. This is more common among male victims.

4. Young Adults

While older adults report higher financial losses, younger people are more likely to experience sextortion and emotional manipulation. Social media platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok are common starting points for these scams.

How Romance Scams Work

Scammers follow a well-rehearsed playbook. Here’s how the scam typically unfolds:

1. Initial Contact

The scammer reaches out through a dating app, social media, or even a random text message. They quickly move the conversation to private channels like WhatsApp or email.

2. Building Trust

They shower you with attention, ask personal questions, and mirror your interests. They may claim to be working abroad or in a remote location to explain why they can’t meet in person.

3. Creating Urgency

They claim to be in a crisis, a sudden medical issue, a legal problem, or travel trouble, and need money fast.

4. Requesting Money

Payments are requested through hard-to-trace methods like wire transfers, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or money apps.

5. Disappearing or Escalating

Once they get what they want, they vanish or continue asking for more, sometimes using victims to move stolen money.

Red Flags to Watch For

Recognizing the signs of a romance scam can help you avoid becoming a victim. Here are some common warning signals:

  • They say “I love you” very quickly.
  • They avoid video calls or in-person meetings.
  • Their stories don’t add up — details change or don't make sense.
  • They ask for money or personal information.
  • They claim to be overseas and can’t meet in person.
  • They pressure you to send money fast, especially during a supposed emergency.
  • They discourage you from talking to friends and family.

If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your instincts.

How to Protect Yourself

Protecting yourself online takes awareness and caution. Try these steps to stay safe:

1. Limit Personal Information

Keep your social media profiles private and avoid sharing sensitive details like your location, workplace, or financial status.

2. Verify Identities

Use a reverse image search to check if their photos appear elsewhere. Ask for a live video call or a photo performing a specific action (like holding today’s newspaper).

3. Take It Slow

Don’t rush into emotional or financial commitments. Ask questions and look for inconsistencies.

4. Never Send Money

No matter how convincing their story sounds, don’t send money to someone you haven’t met in person.

5. Talk to Someone You Trust

If you’re unsure, share your concerns with a friend or family member. A second opinion can help you spot red flags.

6. Report Suspicious Activity

If you suspect a scam, report it to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), local law enforcement, or your bank.

What to Do If You’ve Been Scammed

If you’ve fallen victim to a romance scam, you’re not alone, and you’re not to blame. These scammers are professionals who exploit human emotions. Here’s what to do:

  • Stop all contact with the scammer immediately.
  • Report the scam to the FTC (reportfraud.ftc.gov), IC3 (ic3.gov), and your bank.
  • Secure your accounts by changing your passwords and monitoring for unusual activity.
  • Seek emotional support – talk to a counselor or join a support group. Romance scams can be deeply personal and emotionally painful.

Love Shouldn’t Cost You

Romance scams are heartbreaking, but they can be prevented with awareness and caution. Always remember: real love doesn’t come with strings or payment requests.

At Peoples Bank & Trust, we’re here to help you protect your finances and your peace of mind. If you ever have questions about online safety or suspect a scam, contact your local branch. Your security is always our priority.

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